


Hetalia Crack

by DaGalaxyPerson



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Brothers America & Canada (Hetalia), Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Crack, Funny, Human & Country Names Used (Hetalia), M/M, Tsundere England (Hetalia), Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 21:05:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17815508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaGalaxyPerson/pseuds/DaGalaxyPerson
Summary: This is basically a crack story I made for my friend. I hope you enjoy it too though. (PS I have no idea what i'm doing.)





	Hetalia Crack

**Author's Note:**

> England- Arthur  
> France- Francis  
> Russia- Ivan  
> Canada- Matthew  
> America- Alfred

It started as a normal day, well at least it was supposed to start like that. I mean it was as normal as you could get with the hetalia group. Francis was in the kitchen cooking dinner for Arthur and himself. Francis would consider it a date even if Arthur would never admit that they were together. Arthur was at the dining table with his arms crossed, and his bushy eyebrows in a scowl. 

Arthur wasn't aloud to help Francis cook dinner. This was mostly because of his reputation in the kitchen. He wasn't even able to look in the direction of the kitchen, Francis being afraid just his look was going to burn down the kitchen. “C'mon love, we all know what happened last time when I let you cook food for us.” Francis yelled cheerfully from the kitchen peeking out to give a reassuring smile, to get Arthur to cheer up. 

“You damned frog.” Arthur said with a embarrassed blush on his face. It wasn't enough to say he was flustered, but it was definitely noticeable. “I only burnt it a little bit last time.” Arthur lied trying to make it sound less bad then it actually was. In reality he, almost burned down the whole kitchen last time he tried to cook. Francis walked into the kitchen with two plates of five star made food. He sat a plate by Arthur before looking down at the male. “C'mon cheer up Angleterre.” Francis said with a smile before taking a seat across from Arthur. 

Francis started to dig into his own food before looking up at Arthur who was staring down at his food with a sour look on his face. Francis looked at Arthur with a smirk slowly creeping up onto his face. “Maybe after this we could do something fun honhonhon~.” Francis said with his overly flirty attitude along with a wink. Arthur looked at Francis with a extremely red, and flustered look on his face. Before Francis could speak another word Arthur grabbed a book under his chair and threw it at Francis. The large book hit Francis straight in the nose. His head flew back not being ready whatsoever for the book. Francis mentally cursed at the pain, he was having from being hit by the book.

 

The book feel into Francis food. He groaned knowing how long it took him to cook the food. The book was opened onto a page with a pentagram. There were words by it that were in a different language he couldn't tell what it said.  
“Um Angleterre was is this?” Francis said with a slightly concerned for your sanity look on his face. Arthur looked at Francis with a smile. “Why don't I show you Francis~.” He said with a happy attitude, and a creepy smile. All of this made a shiver go down Francis’s spine. 

Arthur got up walking over to Francis. Francis leaned into his chair a little bit scared of Arthur at this very moment. Arthur grabbed Francis’s hand walking away from the table. They walked towards Arthur's basement, as Arthur opened the door they felt a chill of wind flow past them. Arthur practically dragged Francis down the unstable stairs throwing Francis onto a chair. The room had a white pentagram in the center of the room drawn on with some sort of chalk. Francis sat in the chair still a little confused what was happening. 

“I know you're into some kinky stuff Arthur, but right now is not the right time.” Francis stated a little bit nervous. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously while Arthur walked up to the center of the room. He turned back to Francis before saying. “Shut up frog, i’m doing something.” He said before starting to chant. “Dumbledora the explora I summon thee from hell BITCH.” Arthur says with his hands up in the air. Smoke started to come from the middle of the circle. It didn't smell bad like fire, but more like maple syrup and vodka mixed together. Two Figures emerged from the circle. Now Francis expected it to be some horrifying demon, but what he got was much worse.

The figures that Francis thought was going to be demons turned out to be Francis’s little boy Matthew and Ivan. Now this wouldn't be too weird if it wasn't for the fact they were making out in the center of the circle. Arthur and Francis’s mouths were wide open in shock. Francis was, so shocked that his boy was making out with literally the most terrifying person on the whole planet. Just looking at the guy could make you have chills. Now Francis has wanted the shy Matthew to get with someone for a really long time, but why Ivan WHY IVAN. Francis internally screamed at the thought of them together. 

All Francis could do was mutter “M-Mathieu……?” Francis looked at the two with wide eyes. They finished there make-out session when Matthew realized they were not in Ivans house anymore. “Where are w-.’’ Matthew started to say before seeing Francis and Arthur. Both of them had a pure look of shock on their faces. “Um I can explain.” Matthew started to say before Ivan jumped in. “There is nothing to explain.” Ivan said with a childish smile on his face.

“What's happening in here.” A voice came at the top of the stairs. When everyone turned their heads to see Alfred holding Ivan's pipe. Ivan's eyes went wide with excitement when he saw his pipe. He immediately pushed Matthew out of the way running to his pipe. He grabbed his pipe kissing it. “I've been beaten by a pipe.” Matthew says sadly with a small sigh. Alfred walked down the stairs and went to Matthew. Alfred patted Matthew’s back before saying. “Well Mattie now you can be lonely with me!” Alfred said giving a sad laughter. 

Ivan looked over to Matthew seeing his sad expression. Ivan ran towards Matthew and kissed him on the lips. “Don't worry I love you too.” He said with a childish smile. Matthew kissed back before Alfred screams “get some Mattie.” When they break apart Ivan says with a smile. “Da Mattie loves me.” Ivan says while hugging Matthew tightly. At the end of all this Matthew and Ivan were cuddling, Alfred still lonely, Francis questioning his parenting decisions, and Arthur thinking what the fuck he just caused.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my crack story. It was pretty much just a fun little story I decided to do. Hope you found it sorta entertaining.


End file.
